You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
