I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
