I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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