so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
areolas are like halos for boobs.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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