Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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