i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
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Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
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Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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