Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
