so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
