talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
