You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
