Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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