I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
