She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
