Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you win again, gameday.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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