butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
