So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
