the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
