i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
