I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
