i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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