where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
