Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
