Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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