So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
3 2 1 whiskey
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
