i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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