Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
