I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
