At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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