We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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