Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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