I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The uberlube is also flammable
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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