Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
