i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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