I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
What a dumb baby whore.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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