We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
soo... how was my night?
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