it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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