Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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