Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
even my farts smell like vagina
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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