Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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