I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize