PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She made me pour olive oil on her.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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