I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize