Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
