when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
