What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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