I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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