i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize