Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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