try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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