I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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