You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
