And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
