a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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