shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
