The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
