dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
