I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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