this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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