i think my tv is drunk
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
