Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
