Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
