i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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