I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
