it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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