So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
