Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
