I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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