Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
