I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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