so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
