I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
