Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
