what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
